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Hey everyone!

I haven’t been able to keep up with my writing load for a few reasons. One of which I don’t feel at liberty to discuss at the moment. Suffice to say, it’s an emotionally draining reason and making it difficult to motivate myself to write more… despite my desire to do so.

I also have 2 big things coming up within the next week that requires a lot of my emotional and physical bandwidth. Those being San Francisco Decompression and Final Fantasy XIV Fan Fest. Decom is the most immediate as it’s on Sunday and Fan Fest is the next weekend. I do plan on writing about my impressions of Fan Fest. I don’t think it will go more than 2 posts (one actual post and one of pictures).

So, a lot of exciting things happening. A lot of things that need to be taken care of before next weekend. Lots of busy, busy, busy.

And I sincerely apologize for it. When I do come back, I promise to have more Comic Con, more short stories (both of them and a special Halloween story) and more other stuff. I have a show that I would like to write about… and some manga to talk about. Also would like to write a piece about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There’s a lot on the horizon, but first, patience as this next week passes.

Until then!

Of course, the fact that I had only gotten about 2-3 hours of sleep the night before made it that Friday… so I was starting to find it incredibly difficult focusing on panels. Instead, we decided to hit the dealer’s room. I hadn’t a chance to see it on Thursday, so why not check it out on Friday.

This guy was impressively still and did this for the whole con. It's a pretty impressive cosplay.

This guy was impressively still and did this for the whole con. It’s a pretty impressive cosplay.

And as prior years, it was a madhouse.

For some reason this year it felt more hectic. It seemed that anyone who was filming at Comic Con was filming in the dealers’ room. So, getting around was… interesting. This year we made the rounds from Artists’ Alley to the video game section (if you haven’t seen a map of the dealers’ room, this is it). It really is as massive as the map looks.

And, of course, I have an amusing (or not so amusing but ultimately frustrating) story.

We were walking around the video game section of the dealers’ room. Of course there was plenty of neat con stuff available for sale… and some places were giving away free stuff. So, we were walking by the Ubisoft both and they were pushing people buying Assassin’s Creed 5. They were giving away swanky shirts for anyone who pre-ordered a copy of the game. And they had guys outside the booth trying to get people in to order a copy.

Of course, Ubisoft had just put their foot in their mouth at E3 when they were asked about the lack of playable female characters. Their reasoning, that it’s too difficult to animate the female avatars. Yet

April O'Neil and Casey Jones

April O’Neil and Casey Jones

they also said that there were going to be a lot more women in Dead Island… just not Assassin’s Creed.

Of course, I remembered that… and I was very disappointed by this. After all, how is it too hard for a game franchise that makes more money than Dead Island can’t manage to have playable female characters… or any other female characters..

Needless to say, it’s something that annoyed many female gamers.

So, I mentioned my concern and the guy trying to get people in had told me that I needed to have a thick skin. That this sort of stuff happens all the time and I shouldn’t let that stop me from playing Assassin’s Creed.

I’m probably making it sound a bit less patronizing than it actually was. I felt like he was talking down to me because I was a woman.

The interesting problem was that he was also trying to convince 2 other women to buy the game. After he had said that to me, he asked if I was going to buy it and I said I would have to think about it. He

This is just a small potion of the dealers' room. There were some areas where you could walk or barely move...

This is just a small potion of the dealers’ room. There were some areas where you could walk or barely move…

then asked the other girls and they said no and walked off.

After spending a lot of time wandering the dealers’ room, we decided to call it day, go back to the hotel and get some drinks at the swanky tiki bar that is next to the pool of our hotel.

Later in the evening, while we were out in the rather large lobby of our hotel, near the restaurant and bar, Kevin Smith made a speedy beeline as though he were meeting someone and running a little late. I didn’t try to stop him to say hello because I could tell he was on his way somewhere. It’s a shame, because if there is one person I would love to have a conversation with, Kevin Smith is one of them. I have a lot of respect for him as a writer/director. It wasn’t meant to be though. perhaps one of these days I’ll actually get to meet Kevin Smith.

The view from my hotel toom every morning... life didn't suck

The view from my hotel toom every morning… life didn’t suck

Woke up bright and early Friday morning. I had a lovely breakfast of Italian cold cuts, cheese and some of a wonderful gluten-free baguette from Mariposa bakery. Not exactly what anyone would consider breakfast, but it was worth it. I had to make sure that I was going to be ready to have another day fairly packed with panels… not even enough time to really get lunch.

After finishing breakfast it was time to herd back in to the expansive convention center. It feels both huge and crowded when you’re looking at about 120,000 people in one place.

I quickly made my way to the Neon Alley panel.
Thankfully I made it in time to get a decent seat for the Neon Alley panel. I’m not a huge fan of sitting way in the back for anything… well except for when I was in high school, but that was for entirely different reasons… and I digress.

So, the Neon Alley panel was largely similar to Viz Media panel as Neon Alley is run by Viz. Like their specialized panels, they tend to focus on what the panel is about.

In this case they’re focusing on Neon Alley. So, they start by talking about what Neon Alley is about.

Hercules and Megara

Hercules and Megara

Before last year, Neon Alley was a subscription-based online channel. They wound run shows on a timetable. They dropped that model in favor of just having a Hulu channel where they stream anime on demand. This is a huge change, and makes it easier to both see what you want, when you want and to be able to binge-watch series.

They then told us what they are currently showing on the Neon Alley Hulu channel. So, what are they showing on Neon Alley?

Here’s a list: Sailor Moon (subbed, dubbed coming soon), Naruto Shippunden (dubbed), Ranma ½, Bleach (up to episode 205 both dubbed and subbed), Death Note (dubbed and subbed), Vampire Knight (dubbed and subbed), Inuyasha (entire series, dubbed and subbed), Blood Lad, Gargantia (dubbed). Starting in fall they will be showing Naruto: Rock Lee and Ninja Pals.

Last month they said they were going to have Bleach up to episode 229. They also were going to have

Love that I found Link with the Postman. Looks like the Bunny Hood really works.

Love that I found Link with the Postman. Looks like the Bunny Hood really works.

12 new episodes of Naruto. They also put up 13 more Nura episodes (for you Nura fans out there).

Other then that, it was largely a lot like the Viz Media panel. There wasn’t any news that was specially held specifically for this panel. They did, however, talk a bit about what they were planning for their Sailor Moon panel on Saturday.

After that, I made my way to my next panel. For the first time in 3 years I finally made it to the Comics Art Conference. They always seem to have interesting topics, but I’ve always had other panels the same time. I finally made it this year.

I made it to the panel on sexism, gender and comics. It sounds like an interesting enough topic. Something that seemed to largely been discussed this year.
The topic itself was interesting. The Comic Arts Conference is a place for scholars to present their papers on to comic fans. That means that not everyone is going to be as equally engaging. That was the problem that I ran in to. The topic itself and the papers on their own were interesting. The people presenting them were not as engaging. So, I found myself less interested as the panel went on.

The papers being presented were on the following: A Methodology for the Analyzing of Sexism in

Child Deadpool is ready to fight some crime... or make witty remarks.

Child Deadpool is ready to fight some crime… or make witty remarks.

Comics: Birds of Prey, Love Slaves and Wonder Woman, Golden Age of Wonder Woman (this one had an interesting discussion of psychology) and Abjection and Objectification of Motherhood in Jack Kirby’s Fourth World.

All interesting titles, but the presenters lacked the charisma to keep me truly engaged. In many ways that made me sad. Since they’re dealing with more scholarly subjects, you have to find a way to make this more engaging.

Just stumbling upon this story? want to know how we got here? Go check out the pervious 2 installments here and here.

Just as with everything on this blog, this story is copyright Emily Rush on the day of publication. All rights reserved… yada yada yada.
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He shakes his head like a child with a snow globe, attempting to shake those memories loose from his brain. It’s a moment that chilled him to his very core, the split-second where he failed to act.

But that was only for a split-second.

His fingers curled instinctively around the cold metal shaft of his lance. He pulled it out of its resting spot in the snow with the sound of crunching snow on metal. He’ll never let a moment like that happen again. He’ll never have such an unfortunate lase in judgment happen again. It’s those lapses in which people die, towns destroyed. It’s something he can no longer let happen again.

He ponders these thoughts as he hears the hard crunch of the snow beneath his feet. The rhythmic crunch, crunch, crunch of the snow beneath his feet starts to drown out the thoughts of the massacre and lulls him in to a kind of meditation. His mind calms. It is no longer racing through all the horrendous thoughts that it was earlier.

He stops and takes a deep breath. His nose is filled with the scent of various beasts. Most of the smells are common of the ones that tend to frequent this area, the various sprites and rodents, occasionally there might be a baby drake. Underneath the common smells of the area is a bloodier, muskier smell. The scent of the creature he seeks.

“Ha!”, he thinks, “I might get him yet.”

He lets out a chuckle as he takes a little jog until his muscles fatigue. The weight of his armor pushing him further in to the snow, leaving heavy foot prints behind. If one was to track him, he would be quite easy to find. Thankfully he is the hunter and not the hunt.

Once he tires, he takes a moment. His breath heavy, creating steam rising like smoke from a dragon. It almost seems proper given the title of what he does, dragoon.

Suddenly he realizes the thickness of the air. It sits heavy on him. He thinks he knows this feeling before. Can this really be the day? How long has it really been? Days? Weeks? Months? How long has it been? How much time has passed? When was the last time he noticed this air, heavy and thick?

Did I climb higher than I meant? He’s never seen the beast travel this high. While the area is largely mountainous, he’s never seen him start to hit the snowy peaks of this ice-cold wasteland where there isn’t a lot of natural life. The higher up you go, the less hospitable it is.

While the air felt heavy and oppressive, it also felt alive with a certain amount of electricity.

He stands up and looks around, trying to take in his surroundings; seeing if he could find his quarry. The more he looks, the more he only sees the vast fields of white before him. And while the pureness of the snow should be somewhat comforting, it also feels largely unnerving.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it of any negative thoughts. Something feels different about today. It feels as though something’s going to happen today.

He takes a deep breath of the bitter cold air. It feels crisp inside his nose.

“Today… Yes.”, he thinks, “Today will be the day.”

So, last week wound up going in a direction that I hadn’t anticipated. I had wanted to get writing done, unfortunately life got in the way.

Monday I went to Berkeley to see about exorcising some really old demons. Unfortunately, Berkeley isn’t in stasis. So, it was hard for me to have the same experience that I had when I was in high school. Most of the places from then are long gone and replaced by some chain or were simply closed. Rasputin’s is no longer like what I remembered. I didn’t get in to Amoeba, which was my favorite record store. In many ways, I didn’t get what I was hoping out of the excursion.

I also had my first therapy appointment in years. Life has been a bit on the brutal side as of late. So, that requires me working through some old, painful and crunchy issues. Unfortunately, all of which are making my quite depressed.

That was last week… So, what about this week?

Well, I hope to have up more Comic Con stories. I’ve been working on getting more written up. I also hope to have at least one update of a short story. I have something else I might wanna write about. So, I’m gonna try to get this done.

Last week stalled a bit. I’m gonna work hard to make this week better than the last.

So, until then!

After that, I made my way to a panel called Manga: Lost in Translation. They were talking about issues of translating manga and what it’s like working as a translator. Most translations are done by freelancers. There are not many translators getting steady work in the US.

Iron Man and a little fan

Iron Man and a little fan

They also talked about the origin of the word “glomp”. The earliest usage of the word glomp goes back to Matt Thorne. He’s the one who coined the phrase glomp.

They considered Japanese onomatopoeia to be one of the hardest parts of translating. The Japanese has onomatopoeia for everything… even things like passing a sheet of paper. These are things where we may not have a sound word for in English.

There was also a discussion of the merits of 100% translation vs. perfect English translations. Most fan translations are done as a pure Japanese-to-English translation. And there’s merit to that as you don’t lose a lot of intention from the language of origin. However, it reads very awkwardly. Also, some Japanese puns may not translate as well in to English. Largely because the puns are based on Japanese wordplay and those jokes may not translate as well because it works in the language of origin.

They also went on to discuss issues with working as a translator. When you work as a translator in Japan, you’re largely having your translation edited by people who don’t necessarily speak or understand English. However, it’s also hard to start as a translator in the US. You need to build up your credibility. And build up your own voice and style as a translator. There are also plenty of companies

An amazing Charlie Chaplin cosplay

An amazing Charlie Chaplin cosplay

that will pay ex-scantalators pennies instead of a fair rate. This alters the economics of translation.

The last panel of the evening was called the Psychology of Cult TV. This panel was one of the most interesting panels. Instead of tearing apart cult TV shows for psychological content, they talked about the therapeutic merits of using cult TV in therapy. This is interesting because I have never had a therapist who engaged me through television.

They started the panel with the discussion of whether TV is useful or a waste of time. They concluded that TV can be therapeutic in moderation. It can help us deal with more traumatic or difficult things in life. It can also help create connections in real life.

It can also teach you lessons vicariously. This is largely because you’re dealing with some of the harshest lessons without having to actually experience them. It can be helpful with dealing with issues like death and bullying.

Representations on television can make people more compassionate and more capable of understanding bigger atrocities. It can be a way to work through issues with PTSD. It can also help give context to issues through another lens.

People get creative with naming things,,, including their octopi.

People get creative with naming things,,, including their octopi.

The entire discussion was incredibly enlightening. It was an interesting panel and one that I would love to go to again to get more perspective on using television in a therapeutic practice.

After the Psychology of Cult TV, it was time to head back to the room. We ate in the room (I managed to bring some extra food so we didn’t have to go out to eat). I was planning to go out and attempt to do some networking, but that wasn’t to happen. Before I got a chance to go out, I received a call from the person who said they were going to watch our dogs. They couldn’t make it. Since no one was going over to feed them, I got incredibly nervous and no longer felt like going out to network and drink.

If there’s one thing that I wish that I could have done, it’s do more networking.

So, we stayed in and kept on checking on the dogs on our puppycam, then went to sleep.

Here We Are Again

That’s right, we’re back in Monday.

However this Monday is different from previous Mondays. I have a new job. So, that means working out a new schedule for posting. Initially, I think I’m going to post Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I would like to attempt to post monday-Friday, but I’m easing back in to the work force and am not sure how with it I’m going to be after work.

The new job is great news, and I’m both excited and nervous about this new job. Because I’m gonna be working on posting three days a week, it means I might have to drop my beginning of the week posts so you get more content.

So, that’s a pretty good-sized change.

So, what about this week? This week I’m thinking that I’ll be posting Comic Con posts solely this week. So more Comic Con information and pictures. I hope you enjoy it.

Until later!

The Funimation panel is also chock full of dates and information. It started with a summation of Funimations 20 years. They went on to introduce themselves: Vic Demangana was the MC and Justin Rojas was the guy who was giving out lots of information… including that Vic Demnagana would be doing signings at the Funimation booth.

Riddle me this Comic Con patron...

Riddle me this Comic Con patron…

They also talked about the Funimation show… and Funimation.com. They stream anime. However, unlike Neon Alley (which is free), you have to pay for content. Considering that Funimation licenses an awful lot of anime, there’s a lot of content on that site (including Attack on Titan). They’re also running the Dragonball Z’s Broly saga (it streamed on 26.August). They’re also streaming Tokyo Ghoul, Terror in Resonance (music by Yoko Kanno, also known for doing music for Cowboy Bebop and Ghost in the Shell), Espionage, Free! Eternal Summer, and more.

So, on to the new releases:
DBZ Season 5, Battle of Gods was showing August 5,6,7 and 9. I believe you can find more information about it on Funimation.com. They’re also releasing a next gen Dragonball Z video game called DBZ Xenoverse.

They were also talking about titles that were available at the time. Those were Axis Powers Hetalia, The Devil is a Part-Timer (picture the devil working for McDonald’s), A Certain Scientific Railgun S, Karneval, Fairy Tail, pt. 1 and Attack on Titan, pt.1 (the collector’s edition for Attack on Titan is available online at funimation.com).

A Disney Princess... Sleeping Beauty, I believe

A Disney Princess… Sleeping Beauty, I believe

Senran Kagura, a series that’s pure fan service was released on 29.July. HAL will be released on 2.September. One Piece, Season 6 will be released on 30.September on Amazon and available for general release on 18.November. Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist will be made available on 28.October. Bayonetta: Bloody Fate will be released 21.October.

There was a lot of information they gave out in that hour. We managed to get through it all… as it’s listed here. I wish that I had some of the preview videos for some of the titles. There are some smaller titles that look genuinely good (like the Devil is a Part-Timer).

Wow, this just keeps going… and there’s still more to go. Want to know what happened before? Want to read it forwards instead of backwards? You can find all the previous installments here.

As before, this work is copyrighted to Emily Rush on the date of publication. All right reserved. 

Now on to the story!
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“B-but… w-we t-talked a-about i-it a-a lot. H-he e-explained t-to me th-that h-he w-wasn’t re-replacing me…”, his boyfriend starts.

“How do you feel about it?”, he asks, “ When we came back inside, you looked like you had cried…”

“I-I’m scared. I-I d-don’t w-want this t-to be l-like wh-when w-we w-were in h-high school…”, his boyfriend explains.

“I just came out to my fiancé. At this point, I don’t even care if it gets to my family. I’ve hurt you and I’ve been lying to myself for years. “, he explains, “I hurt a lot of people lying to myself….”

He looks up in thought for a moment.

“Would it be lying to myself if I like both men and women…”, he says.

He shakes his head again. He gently places a finger under his boyfriend’s face and tilts his head until he’s looking at him.

“Regardless, the more I was apart from you… but not, I realized that you were what I was missing. I’m not planning on leaving you any time soon.”, he says as he leans closer to his boyfriend.

“Do you realize how much I have loved you? How much I still love you?”, he whispers.

He kisses his boyfriend passionately. He leans in and slides off the toilet. He leans in closer to his boyfriend’s body, forcing him to have to lie down. He feels his boyfriend’s body underneath his, knowing that all that’s keeping them apart is two layers of clothing.

Their lips part as he rests his head on his boyfriend’s chest. He can hear his heart pounding in his chest. He closes his eyes and listens to his boyfriend’s body. He feels the passion rising within him, the desire to ravish this body. He can feel that his boyfriend wants the same.

“There is nothing that I will allow to come between us. If you’re not comfortable with me going out with him, if it makes you unhappy, I won’t do it. I’m not going to go through the last few years again. I can’t…”, he says as his hands start to lift up his boyfriend’s shirt.

Feeling his boyfriend’s warm, taught skin under his hands, feeling the definition of this body beneath him.

“God, I want to do so many things to you right now…”, he says softly, reveling in the feeling of his boyfriend’s flesh being just underneath his face, “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”

He looks up at his boyfriend’s face. That face that is both angelic and beautiful. It’s displaying both sorrow and desire.

“What do you want?”, he asks.

“R-right n-now?”, his boyfriend asks.

“Sure, right now and to happen between me and the boy.”, he asks.

“B-between y-you and he b-boy… I-I’m n-not sure.”, the boyfriend says after a moment of thought, “R-right n-now, I w-want t-to be h-held by y-you both.”

His boyfriend takes a deep breath.

“A-at the s-same t-time, I-I w-want y-you to t-take me. I-I w-want to t-take y-you. I w-want t-to d-do wh-what w-we u-used t-to d-do in the b-bathroom t-together…”, his boyfriend says, turning away to hide his embarrassment.

He kisses his boyfriend’s chiseled chest. He lets his tongue caress part of his chest.

“Then, what do you want me to do?”, he asks, almost incapable of harnessing his passion.

“W-we sh-shouldn’t… I-I h-have to c-consider…”, his boyfriend says.

He sighs. He sits back and takes a deep breath.

“Then we won’t.”, he says, “But I think this is going to be a bit difficult to camouflage.”

He looks down at the erection that he is painfully aware of.

His boyfriend sniggers. He crawls forward and kisses him gently.

“W-would y-you l-like me to l-leave…”, his boyfriend offers, “O-or…”

His boyfriend blushes as he moves closer to him.

“What did you have in mind?”, he asks.

His boyfriend coquettishly looks down then back up.

“You sure you want to do that?”, he asks.

His boyfriend blushes and looks at the door.

“I-I w-would, but…”, his boyfriend starts.

“But you don’t want to leave him waiting for however long it takes?”, he says with a slightly defeated tone.

“I-I…”, his boyfriend says as he puts a hand on his leg.

“Yes, you do.”, he responds, “Go on ahead. I’ll be a moment.”

His boyfriend nods as he leans in. He plants a hot and passionate kiss on his lips. Then, like lightning, he’s back on his feet, his hand on the cool, silver doorknob.

“You know, things like that don’t really help…”, he says.

“I-I kn-know…”, his boyfriend says as he opens the door.

“N-next time y-you w-will be th-thoroughly satisfied.”, his boyfriend responds, looking over his shoulder.

“I like the sound of that…”, he says as he sees his boyfriend’s form walking away.

He stands up and walks over to the door. He quickly shuts the door and rests his forehead against the cool wood. He sighs deeply as he put a hand against the door. He closes his eyes for a moment. He shakes his head as he tries to calm himself.

He turns around and slides down the door, sitting on the cold granite floor.

“I…”, he thinks, “I don’t believe that any of this is happening… How? Why?”

He rests his head against the door.

If anyone had told him when he woke up this morning that the rest of his day would have taken this turn, he would have said that they were lying. This was far beyond anything he could imagine. He came out to his fiancé… ex-fiance… Not sure where she stands now. At this point he might as well tell his family. He’s pretty sure that she probably already has… or if not, she will soon. And while he thought that thought would be mortifying to him, he finds himself happy that he did. He also finds himself more prepared for the fallout than he ever imagined he would be.

And then there’s the boy. If there was ever something that he would have safely put on a list titled, “Having a Snowball’s Chance in Hell of Happening” it would be that the boy would be interested. It’s only been a few months since the boy found out that he and his boyfriend were a thing again.

But why, why is the boy interested in him. That’s one thing he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around. He’s never really thought of himself as attractive. He always thought he was OK, but nothing to write home about. So, the idea that another man would find him attractive never entered his mind. He also wasn’t all that much a babe magnet either. So, why?

He sighs deeply. He looks down and then straight ahead. He starts to take his shirt off, slowly pulling it up over his head.

“I know that he said he’s been looking at me since Arty Farty…”, he starts to think, “But why. Why me as well.”

He stands up and drops his shirt on the bathroom floor. He looks at himself in the mirror. He then looks down at his own body.

“My body is certainly nothing like my boyfriend’s… I don’t know if I’m really that attractive.”, he thinks as he continues to look in the mirror.

“I need to stop this. There’s nothing else that I can do right now. I’m too tired to think about this now.”, he says as he unbuttons his pants.
He lets the pants fall to the floor before kicking them out of his way. They lay partially-balled up next to his shirt.

“ I guess I’ll have to wait and find out… won’t I?”, he says to himself, looking in the mirror, “Maybe this will all be sorted soon.”

Monday, Monday

So here we are, back at Monday once again. It’s the beginning of the week and time to talk about this next week.

Last week I didn’t write as much as I would have liked. Unfortunately, my days have filled up with interviews. While this isn’t a bad thing, it does mean that I don’t get a lot of writing done.

I’m taking a break from applications this week. I need some personal down time… so, I’m going to take it.

I will get up more Comic Con posts. I may get to adding some more to my two short stories.

Other than that, I’m not entirely sure what else this week will bring… except for Wednesday where I’m going to be taking a trip and doing some serious thinking. It won’t be long, just the day.

So, here’s to a more productive week!

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