I’ve been going through some rough stuff. I’ve been dealing with a lot of trauma from decades of abuse. It’s hard to believe that I had gone through 25 years of abuse. I didn’t think that it left that big an impression on me. So, now I’m working through the mess that that has left on me.

I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now. I’ve been trying to untangle the mess in my brain. It’s not an easy task and I need the help to find the tools to better deal with it. He mentioned that I should go to a group for people who’ve dealt with trauma.

I start in October. I don’t know how I feel about this.

It’s going to be hard and strenuous work. I have to deal with the things that I’m afraid of. I have to learn how to not get to the point where I’m feeling hyper-vigilant again. It’s a place that I’ve gone far too many times. I would like to be able to live life again. I haven’t been able to really live my life for over a year.

To get my life back, I need to face things. I need to work with the feelings and learn how to deal with them best.

I think that as a part of my therapy, I’m going to write about it as I’m going through the group program. I think it’ll be therapeutic and a good way to remind myself what these tools are.

That’s not to say that will be the focus of this blog, far from it. I still want to talk about my writing and my life in general. This will be a part of my life, so why not, right?

So, it’s time to get my life back.