I didn’t update yesterday. It felt like I couldn’t update yesterday. I was already having a pretty brutal day. A part of that is because going to group yesterday filled me with a kind of dread.

I know that we had to do the actual beginning of exposure.

Yeah, it was that brutal.

I had a feeling I was going to have to do it. I was right. At first I figured, “Do it. Get it over and done with.”

Actually doing it was mush more difficult.

I apparently still have a lot of anger hurt attached to the memory I was processing. It was a very taxing process. I still feel quite mentally taxed.

This process is still pretty difficult.

Now I get the fun task of listening to the story I told over and over until it doesn’t have the same effect on me.

I’m not going to lie. I don’t want to do it.

However, what I want to do and what I need to do are two entirely different things.

Lets see if I can do it.

Advertisements