As I’m trying to mitigate the negative stuff in my life now, either a legitimate thing or a negative repercussion of the stress that I’m dealing with now. As I mentioned before, it’s not all bad. So, I wanted to take some time to talk about the good.
While I realize that it’s so much more fun to hear all the rich gossip, really… there is so much more going on besides the bad? So, instead of just talking about all the negative stuff, have some positive stuff.
No matter how bad things are, I’m also learning that there are some things that are OK. I find that if I can actually trust someone, I can feel comfortable with a lot of things. I’m actually surprised how comfortable I am. It’s teaching me a bit about myself.
Even more, I’m impressed that I have the capacity to be so happy. I think this may be the happiest I’ve been in my whole life (knock on wood)… unless this nets me even more happy things, then bring it. I never imagined that I could trust other people as much as I do now. What’s more, I’m not even sure why I do. I don’t know what’s changed to make it so. I don’t know if I’m any different from I was 6 months ago.
Even when I’m dealing with a situation where I don’t know if I can trust someone, it’s not permeating the rest of my life. It’s not making me question the other relationships in my life. This is also new. I used to let other negative emotions seep into the rest of my life, but it’s not this time. Maybe I’ve grown more mature and confident in my ability to create wonderfully mature multiple relationships. Who knows?
More importantly, I do cherish the closeness that I’m feeling. I seriously never imagined that things could be like this. It makes me feel pretty… I don’t know, amazing.
I often wonder if I can thank my partners enough. I’m never sure. Maybe I’ll figure it out someday soon.